As I write this in February, this is the time when many ambitious and well-intentioned people have given up on their New Year’s resolutions. I know I’ve certainly fallen into that cycle, so if that’s you, you aren’t alone.
When pursuing any goal, whether it’s a financial, fitness, relational, or any other goal, it is normal to move through phases of heightened motivation, productivity, and achievement. It is also common to experience valleys of doubt, frustration, and minimal progress.
The latter phase of low motivation or consistency is often referred to as feeling “stuck.” Like a car trapped in the mud, you spin your wheels without gaining traction or moving back onto solid ground.
How can we combat this frustrating cycle of feeling stuck?
A good place to start is to have some grace with yourself. Arguably, the most influential baseball player of all time, Babe Ruth, finished his career with an extraordinary batting average of .342, meaning he got a hit about 34.2% of the time. But consider the inverse of that number: Ruth failed to get a hit nearly 66% of the time.
To continue the baseball analogy, no one hits a home run on every trip to the plate. Similarly, with your life goals, you won’t hit it out of the park day after day. No one does. Acknowledging this can relieve some of the pressure we put on ourselves.
Another key to addressing this frustrating state of being stuck is to examine why you made the goal in the first place. Peer pressure and cultural expectations can nudge us toward goals that aren’t meaningful to us. Some uncomfortable self-examination can give us clarity about whether the desired outcome is something we want or if it’s a borrowed goal from some outside influence. Ask yourself why you chose a certain path:
- “Why do I want to get in shape?”
- “Why do I want to get out of debt?”
Some examples of healthy answers to the question “why?” might sound like:
- “I want to get in shape to be the healthiest version of myself, setting a good example for my kids.”
- “I want to get out of debt to break the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle and bring peace to my household finances.”
These questions can shed light on our motivations. Maybe you’ll discover that you had a strong, meaningful “why” all along and that this is simply your moment to recommit. Great! Or maybe you’ll realize you set a goal under peer pressure, based on the motivations of others. If that’s the case, it’s OK to let it go. There is wisdom in knowing when to step back and return to the drawing board.
Assuming you’re continuing with the original goal, how do you get back on track after a period of inconsistency or low motivation?
Maybe your goal was to pay off a ballooning credit card balance of $10,000. Paying off the whole balance all at once is probably not feasible. It’s an overwhelming and simply unachievable task for most. Instead of trying to tackle it in one sweeping move, take the next smallest meaningful step toward the desired outcome. Can’t pay off the full $10,000 right away? That’s OK. Pay an extra few hundred dollars toward the principal balance this month, then do it again the next month and the next month. And the month after that.
The same principle applies across nearly all areas of life. Consistency is the key.
A goal is an admirable thing. We humans are wired to progress and grow; it seems to be part of our nature. But no one is perfectly consistent. Give yourself a bit of grace. Keep your “why” at the forefront and keep chipping away at the goal consistently.
